Do You See What I See?


I never had to wear glasses until the printing on everything started getting smaller. One day my eye doctor broke the news to me, “It’s not the print, it’s your eyes you need glasses.”  “What?  My eyes are fine, I see just fine!” He insisted I get fitted for lenses. I didn’t need regular glasses I needed the ones that help you see close up, far away and in between. I  pleaded for contact lenses, and he said I’d hate them. I got them anyway. I hated them.  So I decided to take the plunge, admit my weakness and get glasses. After two weeks they arrived, I put them on and the choir sang, the blues were bluer, reds were redder. Think I’m exaggerating? I’m not. I gotta tell you, vanity totally robbed me of being able to see through a clearer lens. The times I ordered things off the menu that I had no clue I was getting. The times at stores where I thought the price tag was 19.00 only to choke on my gum when I handed them my credit card and it was 190.00. And on and on the inconveniences go. Vanity outweighed 20/20 vision.  So I started thinking about all of my friends that are wearing cheaters, or getting glasses and I believe there’s a reason that eye sight goes and why same age couples should stick together.

Think about it. Young eyes see everything. Every hair on your chinny, chin, chin, large pores, all of it. I know it because that’s what I see with my glasses.  Think about it, if your spouse or significant other has the same crappy eye sight as you do, he/she can’t see those wild chin or mustache hairs or in some case mole hairs. Right?  We can see their ear hair and outgrown eyebrows. Imagine the older person that connects with the young person with sharp eyes. Do you think they look at those tiny little things we can’t see and think to themselves, “yuck.”  If I were a twenty something and saw the curly grey hairs from my spouses ears, something tells me I’d be shopping around for someone my own age.

I think bad eyes were the creators way of making sure that the scorecards are even and you can’t see my obvious signs of aging and I can’t see yours. Therefore, we both believe that we look as great as we did the day we met. Pretty brilliant thought, eh?

I now have glasses and my husband just wears cheaters which means when he puts them on he’s only looking at a menu or newspaper, not the neck hair I forgot to pluck. I’m grateful for the ability to see through younger eyes again, but the difference is that when I see the aging process on my spouse, it simply reminds me we’re growing old together and that doesn’t make me want to run away, it makes me smile.

Here’s to seeing what you want, and ignoring the rest!

Meno Pause

Introducing Meno Pause


A few years ago I turned 50. Ten years ago I started having hot flashes. Between my first hot flash ( I recently heard a woman refer to them as, “Your inner child lighting a match”) and turning 50, I’ve tried everything to alleviate the symptoms of menopause. To no avail.  Crazy thing is, for the most part I do all the right things. I exercise when I feel like it, I drink wine because I love it and I get plenty of sleep because I love it more than wine. Actually, wine and sleep have a very nice relationship. I digress.

As I make my way through the tilt-o-whirl of life, I’ve found that magazines, radio and internet don’t have a whole lot on the true experiences of menopause and aging in today’s world of perfection. I rarely read the raw truth about getting older and how it changes your life.  Had I learned from my mother that chin hairs were normal, boobs fall and stomachs dimple, I would have been much better prepared for this aging thing.

Given the ongoing surprises of aging, I thought I’d become a real time source for calling aging as I see it. The goal is to let women know that they’re not alone. We may not be able to stop aging but we can embrace the process.

For the record, at 53 1/2  I’m relatively healthy. But I sure wish I could have more conversations about the things that change as we age, some under our control, some without. I want to have conversations that not only talk about the changes in our body, but the changes in our life, all of it.

The saying, “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” is true, but there have been times over the last 50+ years, I didn’t want to be stronger.

I hope you will join me on this wild ride we call life, living and yes, aging.

Join me as I share the surprises that pop up or pop out, as my body and mind age. Let’s share stories that allow us to take the aging process less seriously and simply accept the changes. If we’re all in it together, it certainly makes the process more palatable. It’s always nice to know you’re not alone at a time when you can feel terribly alone. (Please tell me I’m not the only one who has ever found a hair growing out of their earlobe wondering how many people saw it before I did?)

I hope you’ll join me and share your stories and comments. Ladies, we’re all in this together and I look forward to being your buddy in the age of surprise!

Here’s to the age of surprise!

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