I don’t know about you, but as I’ve gotten older there is no more cherished time than the time I spend with girlfriends. Sure, sure, when I was younger and had little kids, girlfriend time was important, but once you get past 50 it seems to change. If you’re lucky enough to still be friends with childhood buddies, you’re lucky. I’m not one of those. We moved a lot and I never developed those types of friendships. I envy those that do.
The friends that I have made over the last five years I treasure. Maybe it’s because those friends are the real deal. They are my friends because what matters to us now is vastly different than what mattered to me when I was 30 or 40 years old. Some of the friendships I had years ago were simply because they were school moms and automatically became part of the friend circle. But once you get to your 50’s you’re more selective with your friend choices. Gone are the “friends” with constant drama. Today my friendships are richer and the expectations are non-existent. The conversations are deep and without judgement. You’re no longer trying to be something you’re not, rather we’ve accepted who we are and we like us. It’s refreshing and comfortable and very, very important.
I met with friends recently that I don’t see very often and I said in an email the next day. “My time with you both was simply good for my soul.” And I meant it. There’s no idle chatter about what so-and-so is doing, there’s no competitiveness there is simply a reciprocal respect. Of course there’s talk of grandchildren, for those that have them, but never in a “mine are better than yours” but a genuine sense of pride. I’m happy for my friends. Gone are the conversations that were set up to impress. Our conversations are now set up to share mutual joy. So cool and so much easier.
I watch as my daughter enters her 24th year. I think about what’s ahead for her. She is one of those lucky people that has stayed connected with a couple of her childhood friends. But she made new friends in college and they are now inseparable. I like her friends, they’re nice people and they seem to be good friends that generally care about one another. I love to see that.
I have found that my time with my friends is something I prioritize now. My husband is content to stay at home, friends don’t seem to hold the importance for him that mine do. Kind of interesting, but I certainly don’t try to figure it out, not at this stage of life. I also don’t dress up like I used to trying to impress whomever. People have said that women dress to impress other women. That may be true, but at this phase of life, I’m about function, not fashion. It’s not to say I don’t like to look nice, I do, but comfort comes first, cute comes second.
Although I say that my husband is my best friend, I must admit that my girlfriends hold a pretty special spot in my heart and for that, I’m grateful.
Here’s to great friends and great conversations!